Salam Alaikum sisters, Hope you all are doing well today 🌸

I received one question from a wonderful woman who is a mom of 4 children: “How do I know I’m a good mother for my children?”
My answer was simple: “if you willing to grow and learn you are a good mother.”

There is no school, college or university where you can learn and get parenting skills. And no one is perfect. We all going through real life lessons and gaining experience. But we all are above 18 years old, so we all can reflect upon our actions and reactions, learn, upgrade ourselves and become better version as a parent and human being.

I’ll write 4 skills what I think all parents should have and if not having to learn:

1. Communication and listening skills. This is the most important thing I think in relation. Because how we communicate with a children, spouse, other people depends all situations outcome.
Being mindful of tone, body language, choice of words and active listener allows children ( also spouse) to be heard and seen.
2. Emotional intelligence skills. We need to be an example of actions and reactions in situations. How we are dealing with situations and emotions calmly or panicking, blaming, shouting or smashing everything around children seeing and copying. So it’s very important to learn about ourselves, how to feel emotions and recognise triggers, heal from childhood traumas and break generational cycles. We need to know about self awareness, self regulation, empathy.
3. We all been kids and that inner child’s part still exist. We need to learn to see our children as another human beings who are worth of unconditional love and respect. We need to know children’s natural development and allow them to do mistakes. We need to be first to restore relation. And recognise are we reacting as an adults or that our inner child’s part feeling neglected, pushed away and hurt by our children actions. And accordingly to take steps to deal within ourselves in the first place.
4. Children need consistency. Boundaries making them feel safe. So each parent needs to know how to set up boundaries and rules and take a responsibility to keep them in place.

Each of us will slip at some point even if we are having knowledge and skills. But if you became a parent means you meant to be a parent and a role model for your children not other way round. Ask yourself what mom I want to be for my children? And remember you are raising not only your kids but all next generations too❤️
That’s why if you are willing to grow and learn you are already the best mom for your kids. ❤️

Wishing you a blessed Friday🌸