Salam Alaikum sisters. 🌸 Hope you all doing well and you and children successfully adapting to a routine.
Many parents asking me: “ but how I can connect with a child who is not listening” or “ doesn’t want to listen”.
So today - MOST IMPORTANT REMINDERS HOW TO CONNECT WITH A CHILD.
If you feel lost, if you already see that yelling, threats, bribes, punishments do not work, if raising children is tiring and the relationship is more like a fight than a connection and relation, if you feel irritated, even for the smallest things, if your child has started to hide from you his thoughts or events... These reminders will help you to see child’s perspective and at the same time by answering to these questions you’ll become more aware of your actions:
HOW TO CONNECT WITH A CHILD:
SLOW DOWN
🛑 Stop, feel this moment, your body, your energy.
RELATION IS A PRIORITY
🛑 If you let go of control, fears, the desire to teach, force NOW... there will be more space for communication and real connection.
SEE YOUR CHILD ( anger blinding us)
🛑 Empathize with what they feel. See life through the eyes of a child right away. What are his needs? What is he really worried/ anxious/ angry/ communicating about?
🛑 PARENTING IS RELATION
Parenting is not a job, it is a relation with another human where both sides needs are important.
Before you punish, scold, shout at your child ask yourself:
1. What is my intention?
2. Is this really a problem? Or is just society expectations?
3. What do I know and where from I know how it should be?
4. Are my expectations in line with the child's development? Is he/ she really capable to do that?
5. How can we satisfy our both needs? Involve child to solve the problem together (if it’s really a problem).
6. Does the child have the autonomy of his body?
7. Is his body, his perspective, his boundaries visible and respected?