REAL SITUATION ( I got recently ) AND SOLUTIONS

Salam Alaikum sisters, how are you today? 🌸

REAL SITUATION ( I got recently ) AND SOLUTIONS

Salam Alaikum, my child is 2.2 years old, a complete picky eater, I don't understand why. He does everything the opposite of what he is told. If you say that something cannot be done, he will definitely do it in second. For example, I say don’t pull a cat by the tail, I explain that it hurts, and after a few seconds he sits on it 🤦🏻‍♀️ Or he draws on the wall, I say that it's not permissible and I bring paper, I explain that you can only draw on paper, just I turn away and the whole wall is covered by paint. And he is running everywhere outside, my eyes burning continuously looking at him. I always shouting just be careful not to fall under the car or fall down the hill, he does not react at all to the words "stop", "come here", "go away". I've never raised my voice at a child at the beginning but now it’s impossible 😔 I understand that a child can’t follow all rules by himself , but when his health is in danger, or when walls are damaged, a cat is hurt, I don't know how to talk to him anymore...
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To understand child’s behaviour first you need to understand his natural development. Those who are in classes or private meetings with me having 1 table about development. Ofc you can find it online too. It approximately allows you to understand what 2.2 years old child can do and understand what he can’t do. Second thing, knowing brain development and that prefrontal cortex what responsible for impulse control just developing it’s easier to understand child’s behaviour. Third, logical thinking starting what age? Here I’m leaving for you to remember or do a research by yourself.

He's two years old, he can't evaluate these situations or control his impulses naturally yet, and he shows it perfectly. 🙂

ABOUT EATING:

4-9 months old babies usually are very chubby. “As toddler becomes more and more active, it's likely that the "baby fat" will fall away and your baby will get longer and thinner.” It’s normal! Around 2 years old children physiologically growing faster and becoming very active, and naturally they don’t want to eat and eating very less. It’s normal as well! You don’t need to push, pressurise or do something special.
The most important are liquids and healthy food. Healthy means: vegetables, fruits and grains. Most of the kids eating soups and like to eat each product separately. Variety of food should be given to kids but not in one go everything. So instead of mixing salad or meat and rice together with sauces, give him each food product separated in the plate. Children are very smart even they looking very picky. But they know how much and what to eat. Trust them😊
The best liquid is water.
Pay attention only on general health, how child is active, urinating, pooping and sleeping. This should be an indicator is child developing good or not.
If parents deciding and doctor prescribing vitamins, better to choose natural, made out of berries, fruits and vegetables without binders and artificial ingredients: example: “Mykind” brand. I don’t want to be sided or promote one brand so I’m giving it only as an example.

ABOUT RUNNING, CAT AND BOUNDARIES

The best way to draw boundaries is prevention. If he is running around on the street, he can be transported in a pram, on a tricycle or choose other options suitable for you and your child, while maintaining the child's safety first. We need to evaluate situation and give opportunity to child to be active too. So if you seeing safe path, playground/ safe area allow child to be active, remind him, but don’t restrict. But this is a boundary that you maintain, not the child.
Also about other situations…if you know he can draw on the walls and it's a problem for you, an adult should maintain the boundary. And here you can also look for other solutions, he can't draw on the wall, but if you want, you can stick large sheets on the walls, on which he can draw without restrictions🙂
And yes, parents afraid to do that, because they thinking child will be drawing on any other walls: at guest house, in nursery or buildings.
Easiest way for them to not to give pencils or pens at all, but it won’t teach skills or prevents from drawing on the walls.
I still recommend to search for solutions by preparing environment.
I personally was giving special mat to draw, and was taping on the wall and on the carpet or giving water pens, different shapes.

Children learning through experiences. Like we all. How else can a child learn life? If I say : don't think about the elephant! I said don't think! Did it work for you?
It is also difficult for the child not to be angry and not to go somewhere or do what you say. That’s why is better to say what is possible instead of what is not possible. Instead of "you can't draw on the wall", say "look at the paper I bought, draw here", instead of “do not raise your leg on the table” , say “keep your feet on the ground”, “instead of don't throw food “, say “if you don't like it, put the food in another plate, etc.” Patience 😊❤️

Children hear the word “NO”, but understanding is different than yours.
Also show by action how to do it: You say: “do not pull the cat by the tail because it hurts”. Well, he can't understand why it hurts. After a moment, he sat down on her - well, you just said don't touch the tail, but you didn’t say you don't touch it anymore. Better show how to behave with a cat and explain : pet the cat yourself and at the same time say “lets pet the cat together, cats like petting”. 😊

Sometimes we putting way too much restrictions for kids and afraid, that kids naturally can’t experience and develop skills, feel their bodies and gain knowledge about environment. So about how to balance restrictions and boundaries will text more messages Inshallah

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Children going through many developmental crises till 3 years old. This is crucial period for their development and probably the most physically and mentally hard period for the parents, especially if they are alone and not having any other people/ family support.
Who would like to know more about these crises can read here: http://meadmontessorischool.com/developmental-crises-in-the-first-three-years-of-life/#:~:text=In%20the%20first%20three%20years%20of%20life%2C%20there%20are%20four,the%20separation%20from%20the%20mother.