Salam Alaikum sisters🌸 How are you today?
So why are you saying "Yes" when you really want to say "No"?
This often means you are ignoring your true feelings to protect yourself. But from what? It usually relates to your childhood experiences, especially if they were traumatic or unpleasant as I mentioned yesterday.
If, as a child, you were afraid to express your wishes and felt pressured to obey your parents or other authority figures, you might have learned to suppress your feelings. Maybe your parents were toxic, aggressive, or even addicted to substances, making you feel unsafe. If you were often scolded or shouted at, you might have developed a fear of expressing yourself, leading you to say "Yes" when you want to say "No."
Now, both consciously and subconsciously, you feel insecure around people who remind you of those childhood experiences. This insecurity makes it hard for you to say "No," especially to those who seem aggressive or dominant.
To learn to say "No," you need to feel safe again. Ask yourself, "What’s the worst that could happen if I say 'No' to this person now?" When faced with fear, don’t avoid it. Instead, confront it. Adapt, avoid, and swirl around the issue, and you’ll continue to feel bad.
Did you think about the people to whom you can’t say "No." Who are they? Face them and practice saying "No" when you need to. If it's hard, seek help to deal with your fears. Read more about it, practice more, and remember that everything is possible.
When you understand your fears and who you are now, apply this knowledge to your kids. If you’re a people pleaser, don't let this happen to your children. They need your guidance and communication, not your rudeness, shouting, or slapping. Start by communicating your feelings, teach your kids to communicate out how they feeling and later discuss about it.
I have faced many fears and overcome them. I’m still improving and learning. So I believe in every human being that they can improve and discover true themselves.
If I can. You can do it too. Just do it! Maryam❤️🤗