We for You | Daily Reflection | *by Maryam* ❤️
Assalamu alaikum dear Sisters🌸, I hope you are all feeling well today.
This week I would like to invite you to take a little intentional time for yourself and begin a simple self-development practice.
Sometimes, as Muslim women, we may wonder: “Is it selfish to focus on myself?” But understanding ourselves and looking after our inner wellbeing can help us show up better for our families, our communities and, most importantly, in our relationship with Allah SWT.
Think of a car with an empty fuel tank , even if you want to help someone and drive them somewhere, you first need to top it up. We are similar. ❤️
Islam encourages us to reflect on what is happening within us. Allah SWT says:
“*Successful indeed is the one who purifies it [the soul].”*
(Qur’an 91:9)
🌿 THIS WEEK’S PRACTICE: ADMIRATION & ENVY
These are two very different feelings, but both can give us useful information about ourselves.
❤️ ADMIRATION
Think of 5 people you admire. They can be people you personally know or people you simply know about.
Write their names down and, next to each person, write exactly what you admire about them.
Try to go deeper than simply writing “she is kind” or “she is successful.”
What does her kindness look like? What about her confidence attracts you? Is it her courage, knowledge, discipline, generosity, communication, faith, calmness or the way she treats others?
Then look at all five people.
Do you notice any qualities repeating?
Ask yourself:
“What does my admiration tell me about the qualities and values that are important to me?”
Those qualities may tell you something important about your own values, what matters deeply to you and perhaps what you would like to develop or express more within yourself.
Sometimes we admire qualities in others that already exist within us, but we haven’t recognised, valued or developed them yet.
🌱 ENVY
Envy can be more uncomfortable to acknowledge. In Islam, we are careful with hasad, wishing for another person’s blessing to be removed.
But noticing feelings of envy or comparison doesn’t mean we have to follow or feed them. Instead, we can acknowledge them and become curious about what might be underneath.
Think of someone you have felt envious of and ask:
“What exactly am I envious of?”
Don’t stop at “her marriage,” “her career,” “her confidence” or “her life.” Go deeper.
If it is her marriage, is it the affection, respect, communication or companionship you see?
If it is his career, is it achievement, recognition, knowledge, independence or purpose?
If it is confidence, is it actually his/ her courage to express themselves , make decisions or pursue something despite what others think?
Now gently ask yourself:
“What is this feeling showing me that I deeply value or desire?”
Maybe it is confidence, knowledge, companionship, achievement, financial stability, purpose, stronger relationships or a closer connection with Allah SWT.
And then comes the most important question:
✨*“What can I do to begin moving towards this in a healthy and halal way?”*
Instead of remaining focused on what another person has, bring your attention back to yourself.
Make dua for Allah to bless that person in what they have. Ask Allah SWT to grant you what is good for you, and identify one small action that is within your control.
Perhaps envy then becomes less about:
“Why does she have this and I don’t?”
and more about:
“This has shown me something that matters to me. What can I begin doing about it?”
Take some time throughout this week to observe yourself without judgement, simply with curiosity, reflection and a willingness to grow. 🌷
May Allah SWT purify our hearts, protect us from harmful envy, help us recognise our own blessings and guide us towards what is good for us in this dunya and the akhirah. Ameen. 🤲🏻❤️
💚 Kindly share with credit | © We for You