Salam Alaikum sisters. 🌸How are you feeling today?
Today about EMOTIONS (CRYING, SADNESS, ANGER).
We are so deeply in the habit of soothing crying that these words "shhhh... don't cry, it's okay" are probably or were used every day. It’s so unpleasant, uncomfortable for us when a child cries, because we are not able to accept his emotions, just as our parents were not able to accept our emotions and in the same way we are not able to accept our own feelings, that is why it’s difficult to be with someone else's crying, anger or sadness.
✨Crying is communication.✨
Crying is a baby's, toddler’s, kid’s and adult’s emotions and feelings expression.
Crying is babies direct“language”. Crying does not need to be stifled with a pacifier (or breast). It is possible to suggest, but do not push it as a necessary solution, because it can become a tool to suppress feelings. The child does not need to be shushed or shaken tightly so that he "stops screaming and calms down". And there is no need to wave toys in front of his eyes, trying to divert attention from his discomfort, pain, feelings. There are many reasons for crying.
❤️Watch for unsatisfied needs, hug, be together, offer (but don't put) milk, hold on yourself - skin-to-skin contact, be together, massage - try to understand and respond to the child's needs while maintaining your calmness, but do not aim to stop the child's communication.
If the child is crying - there is a reason, he is not well and he will not necessarily get well just because his crying will be stopped or his attention will be directed.
Our main message should be - I'M HERE WITH YOU 💗
✨ Because that's exactly what we ourselves need. Especially for mothers at the very beginning - not advice, not reassurance, but unconditional presence. So many women experience delivery trauma and hear the same thing: “don't cry, everything is fine - the most important thing is that you both are healthy” 😊 Yes, of course that's the most important thing, but the mother's feelings and pain are still valid and she needs to be heard and accepted, not "shhhh" , don't cry, it's all right" but I'M HERE WITH YOU 💗”
And how do you feel about your motherhood journey? Do you allow yourself to feel or do you allow your children to feel? What was your childhood like?