Salam Alaikum sisters🌸 How are you feeling today ?

Today about HOW TO BECOME MORE CONSCIOUS PARENT? AND how to feel all emotions and feelings without doing harm to others.

We need to understand that we need all emotions and feelings. There is no bad or good emotions or feelings, there is only body reactions and energies and how much we stuck in them and what we are doing that moment.
If we didn’t have feelings we wouldn’t know what is happiness, love, jealousy, angriness…

Each feeling either increasing our vibrations, either lowering. Example people who stuck in extreme jealousy doing bad only to themselves. Because all feelings are encoded in our bodies, we feeling them through body reactions.
Example we afraid of dog: trembling, sweating, we becoming pale, hart rate increases, breathing becomes shallow and quick. This is how all feelings are recorded to our bodies, and next time our bodies reacting even similar in advance, because we already had experience in the past and also subconscious recorded all feelings, thoughts and experiences.

I always encouraging parents to be in present to feel and see what’s happening now. First of all we all need to turn to ourselves.

WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF -THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND UNINTEGRATED MEMORIES?

BECAUSE WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING WE WILL PASS ON TO OUR CHILDREN our personal mechanisms what won’t benefit them. Opposite it will teach them to repeat generational traumas. AUTOMATICALLY AND WITHOUT THINKING we passing our beliefs, inner provisions ABOUT HOW TO SUPPRESS EMOTIONS OR EXPRESS THEM, HOW TO FEEL FEELINGS, ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, MONEY, ABOUT FOOD, BODY, BOUNDARIES, TRADITIONS, VALUES, WORK, TIME PLANNING, COMMUNICATION, ABSOLUTELY EVERY AREA OF LIFE...

CONSCIOUS PARENTING STARTING NOT FROM APPLYING A CERTAIN PARENTING METHODS, BUT FROM TURNING TO YOURSELF SELF! YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR FEELINGS, ! YOUR INSIDE! TO YOUR INNER CHILD. Asking yourself and contemplating.

Ask yourself:

WHAT DO I FEEL AND WHY?
WHAT IS BEHIND THIS FEELING?
WHAT DO I REALLY FEEL?
WHAT DO I THINK AND WHY?
HOW DID I KNOW THIS IS GOOD OR BAD?
IS THIS REALLY TRUE?

If we all agree that there is no good or bad emotions and feelings, it’s just bad when people stuck in these low vibrations emotions and feelings for a long time and if we agree that children can be sad, angry, they can feel low and lazy, tired and happy, joyful and scared we can feel more empathy for them.

Children are same human beings like we all are. Allow your children to feel!

That they don’t have emotions regulation techniques, skills, copping with situations mechanisms and naturally they reacting impulsive and not thinking logically it doesn’t mean they are stupids, bad boys and girls and purposely creating problems for us parents ( most of us adults not having it as well).
******************

I’ll share few methods here how to help children and yourself to feel and deal with all strong emotions and feelings in most acceptable ways without doing harm to others. Maybe most of them you know already. So for those who know it will be a reminder to use it. I’m showing videos in classes and explaining more, here I’ll try to explain in simple words.

So first how to feel emotions? Scientists saying most of the emotions lasting around 90 seconds, but from my own experience with people it’s very individual.
The most important not to suppress what you are feeling but allow to feel.

What I’ll write now suits for teenagers from around 15-16 years old and adults. Just I’ll give example from adults perspective. BUT IT CAN BE EXPLAINED FOR TEENAGERS TOO: that all our feelings are our responsibility, all our reactions are our responsibility.
And if child raised in you anger or other stron emotions name to them first what you feeling, but dont blame them. Say : “ Im feeling very angry and frustrated that all rooms not tidy and I’m very tired , I need to sit down and fell all these emotions. Breath, inchale and exale slowly. ( will write about it seperately) .

So step by step what to do if example husband raising in you “ dragons”🐉 .

1. PAUSE. STEP BACK AND FOCUS ON YOURSELF. Normally first impulse something harsh to say, defeat or destroy that person.
So how I’m teaching: close/ shut your mouth first and take responsibility that feeling is yours: example angriness. That person just mirrored your feeling and he is not at all guilty.
It happened spontaneously and raised in you that feeling. Thank you, thank you for him that he raised my internal pain. Stop blaming him or that he raised that feeling. Stop blaming and doing drama.

2. SIT OR LIE DOWN and don’t allow your body wander around, stay still. As usually people want gesticulate, touching their faces ect.
So place your body- sit or lie down, close your eyes and then concentrate to that wave inside, to that pressure and unpleasant feeling in your chest or tummy and allow to boil and bubble that anger inside.
And then will be raising thousands thoughts how bad he is: stupid, donkey… not seeing me ect.

3. FEEL IT. Don’t react to thoughts just understand that you need to wait. Here is a wave, just wait …patience…it’s pressing, heating your inside…you might want to kill that, it’s annoying … Still don’t move body, observe, feel and wait patiently… That wave settles after some time, bad thoughts disappeare and everything inside becomes calm. You need around 10 min. And when that wave is fully felt and settled, you didn’t do any damage to yourself, to him, environment…You didn’t do any destruction or harm to that person that he raised feelings in you.

It doesn’t matter how another person anoying you, always, always, always turn to yourself only.
If you become grateful and say thank you to that person because he is helping to see your pain, anger and he is not at all guilty that you are feeling this feeling you’ll feel more better.
So you can’t change others, it’s all about what you are doing with that what you seeing , hearing and experiencing in life. It’s all about how you accepting it. You can’t change everyone, you CAN change how you reacting, how you accepting what you are seeing and expierencing.
So if people annoying don’t try to escape from them, dont try to change them just notice what’s happening inside you, feel all these waves while you find love and joy for that person, joy to see how he is raising these waves in you. THE PERSON OR PEOPLE will raise in you till that time, till it will be what to raise. One day it won’t be what to raise, it will go through and won’t touch you personally. And naturally then something will change in life: life becomes more harmonious or even that person goes out from your life because you did a job with that person because you learned a lesson.