Salam Alaikum sisters. šø How are you doing today?
Today about PAROTSš¦
Are you feeling that you became or becoming like a parrotš¦ and continuously repeating words/ sentences for kids?
Most of the parents ( more moms, and obviously because fathers are rare at home) complaining they are tired to repeat same things to kids. Go wash š§¼ your hands, put school uniform in place, say thank you, say sorryā¦
If you recognised yourself doing that, ask yourself why Iām doing that? Afraid that child raise without manners? Children not listening? Children doing opposite? ā¦
A child always does the best he/she can at the time. If he could he would ask more politely.
So how to teach that politeness?
Shaping the child through your own example.
- Do you want water? Please š
- Could you pass me the scarf from the sofa, please? Thank you very much.
Not by forcing the child to repeat and use the correct words.
Communication with the child is the most important thing in parenting and know that he/ she is learning from you and watching you every day.
To remind a child to wash hands itās nothing wrong and donāt be greedy to do that, but when you become a parrot š¦ itās annoying child and tiring you. Why? Because itās not natural.
Now Iāll give you few psychological ā tricksā:
- Could you please remove your shoes. Sounds as a request.
- You can leave your shoes in the corridor beside the mirror or on the shoe rack. Sounds as an option and at the same time not direct request to leave shoes exactly where you want.
- Wash your hands please ( or without please) but sounds like a request.
- When you wash your hands, you can come to eat. Or do you want to wash your hands in the kitchen or bathroom, Iāll give you snack in a minute.
Iāll be returning to this theme and telling you more Inshallah. But as I mentioned before to see changes in our kids, we should integrate knowledge. If you just reading for reading and watched something on YouTube and thinking is good idea but you are not using it, the knowledge is useless.
To say itās working or helping you need to do it. Apply it practically. And to say differently, using different tactics might sound strange for you at the beginning but do it. Youāll see itās helpful or not. New talking and behaving differently with kids seems like unnatural but just because we used to the old patterns of parenting ( itās coming from our parents). Learning new communication and behaviour with children itās like learning new language. Give yourself and kids time and space to integrate this knowledge.
Kids wonāt change their behaviour during the night, but youāll see changes slowly.