We for You | Daily Reflection | *by Maryam* ❤️
Salam Alaikum dear Brothers and Sisters, I hope you are all doing well, InshaAllah.
Welcome new members to the group. 🤍
Everyone knows the story of Pinocchio, written long ago by the author Carlo Collodi and retold in books, movies, and Disney cartoons. Today, I want to reflect on Pinocchio not just as a children’s character, but as a symbol of something very real and very human: *LYING*🤥.
Recently, I spoke with Shaykh and he said something that truly stayed in my heart: lying changes a person’s nature. Hearing this made me reflect deeply on the reality of lies, and why people lie in the first place.
By my own fitrah, I dislike lying. I always prefer a bitter truth over a sweet lie. But most people do not lie because they are evil; they lie because they are afraid.
Psychologically, lying is often a defense mechanism -a way to avoid pain, discomfort, conflict, or shame. People fear consequences, fear disappointing someone, fear being judged, fear emotional reactions, or fear losing respect or love. And sometimes, people lie simply because they never learned how to communicate honestly without fear.
Lying does not only harm others but it harms the liar too. Over time, it changes the heart. Each lie places a “black dot” on the heart until it becomes darker and heavier.The fitrah weakens, and what once felt wrong begins to feel normal.
Psychology also supports this: when a person lies repeatedly, their brain adapts, reducing guilt each time. The lie becomes easier, then automatic, then part of the personality. This is the real danger: not just the lie itself, but the slow corruption of the heart and mind. And with every lie, trust - both with others and even with oneself - slowly breaks apart.
This becomes especially painful in marriage. Spouses often lie to each other not out of malice, but because they fear upsetting one another, fear arguments, fear being misunderstood, or fear that honesty will disturb the peace at home.
Psychology shows that avoidance destroys intimacy-the more a person hides, the more emotional distance grows.
Yet the irony is that these lies, which are meant to “protect peace,” actually destroy the very foundation of peace - which is trust. ‼️A marriage without trust becomes a marriage of distance, doubt, and emotional walls.
It is better to be prepared for any conversation than to avoid it.
A small practice for you, dear Brothers and Sisters:
Each day, give yourselves time to speak with one another -calmly, openly, and without judging. Psychology teaches that daily emotional check-ins strengthen connection. Share what you like and what you dislike, not to blame, but to understand and to offer solutions together. And if the topic is heavy or emotionally difficult, give your spouse time to think. Agree to return to the conversation the next day, with a clearer mind and a calmer heart. This kind of communication builds safety, trust, and emotional connection.
The only way to rebuild honesty in a relationship is through safety, gentleness, and clear communication. Spouses must feel safe telling the truth without fear of harsh reactions. The truth should be spoken with mercy, and received with calmness. When the nervous system feels safe, honesty becomes possible. Create that space in between each other and in your home. Transparency grows when both people choose honesty over comfort, sincerity over fear, and openness over avoidance.
Honesty protects love.
Truth strengthens hearts.
Psychology confirms what Islam has always taught:
A peaceful relationship is built on safety, trust, and transparency.
Wishing everyone peace.❤️
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