WHY KIDS CAN'T HEAR A LOGICAL EXPLANATIONS?

WHY KIDS CAN'T HEAR A LOGICAL EXPLANATIONS?

1.WHAT DO WE WANT? Do we want that child will listen what we are saying, or do we want he will obey and do as we say?

2.WHEN DO WE TALK? When we logically explaining ? When a child is in a storm of emotions and even CANNOT hear, accept and understand ?

What are child needs when he/ she experiences
strong emotions?

It seems that because of the logical explanations the child should become more calm, but his
logical area of the brain is still developing, and in emotional status, it’s simply unavailable.
So put aside your logical explanations and choose for a moment EMPATHY.

It can be very difficult especially for men,
because they almost never experienced the real empathy without embarrassment and suppressing emotions in their childhood. And strong, suppressed emotions manifests through anger and aggression or depression in adulthood.
To be able to empathise with others, you must first feel yourself and let yourself feel all emotions.
Only after the child's nervous system relaxes, when he/ she feels his/ her feelings, only then it’s worth talking and logically explaining what is happening and why, and doing it with empathy, calmness, without reprimanding, scolding, moralizing.

If you want your child to hear and it means - he/ she needs to behave or feel differently- THEN YOU WANT OBEDIENCE.

When we want another person to obey us, we want to CONTROL. We want to control the other person and do what we think is the best, and neglecting how he/ she feels, what he/ she needs, what is important to him/ her, what is his/her perspective and possibilities.

Obedience is not something you should strive for in a relationship with another person.
WHEN WE WANT TO BE OBEYED, WE ACCOMPLISH ANOTHER PERSON, WE CANNOT BE HERE AND NOW IN AUTHENTIC RELATION.
WANTING OTHERS TO CHANGE THEMSELVES ACCORDING TO OUR WISHES, WE CANNOT BE IN RELATION WITH A PERSON WHOM WE CONTROL.