We for You | Daily Reflection | *by Maryam* ❤️
Salam Alaikum dear sisters 🌿
I hope you are all doing well today. ❤️
Yesterday I came across a reflection written by a woman who developed cancer at the age of 46, and one particular thought really stayed with me.
She had spent more than 20 years building her professional life. She worked hard, had responsibilities, a good career and was used to being needed. Then cancer suddenly interrupted everything.
She described how difficult it became to answer the question “Who am I?” when she could no longer define herself by “What do I do?”
And it made me think about something we start doing from a very young age.
We ask our children:
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Doctor. Teacher. Lawyer. Engineer. Business owner….
Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dreams, education, ambition or encouraging our children to develop their abilities. We want them to have opportunities and to be able to support themselves.
But perhaps without realising it, we sometimes teach children to connect who they are with what they will do for work.
A doctor is not simply a doctor. It is a human being who works as a doctor.
A teacher is a human being who teaches.
A cleaner, a director, a stay-at-home mother, a business owner, none of these titles can tell us the full value of the person behind them.
A profession can change. A career can end. Someone can lose a job, become unwell, choose to stay home with children, change direction completely or begin again at 40, 50 or 60.
So maybe alongside asking our children what they want to do, we should help them think about who they want to become.
Do you want to be kind? What is kindness?
Do you want to be trustworthy? How are you planning to become someone others can trust?
Do you want to have time for your family? How are you planning to create that time in your future life?
Do you want to help people? How?
Do you want to keep learning throughout your life?
Do you want to live peacefully and meaningfully?
What kind of friend would you like to be?
What kind of spouse or parent?
What would you like to contribute to the lives of others?
And perhaps for us as Muslim parents, there is an even deeper question:
“What kind of person would you like to become in the sight of Allah SWT ?”
Because ultimately, our children will not only need skills to earn money. They will need character to handle relationships, faith to carry them through difficulties, wisdom to make decisions, resilience when plans fall apart, and values to guide them when nobody else is watching.
Their job titles may change many times.
But their character, values, relationship with Allah SWT and the way they treat other people will travel with them wherever life takes them.
One sentence from that woman’s reflection particularly stayed with me:
“Work should fit into life, not life into work.”
Perhaps part of raising children is helping them understand this before adulthood teaches it to them through experience.
So maybe our responsibility is not only to prepare our children to make a living, but to prepare them for life.
And maybe, instead of always asking:
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
we could ask:
*“How would you like to live when you grow up?”*🌿🤍
Wishing you all a peaceful weekend filled with meaningful and interesting conversations. 🌿❤️
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